Life as a Musician

by D. P. Marr

Concert Musician Memories

Important Note: In this section, whenever you see the words "I", "my", or "me", know that I identify the memory as mine to draw it out of the original personality. All of these memories are from Michael. Essentially, practicing my technique allowed me access to them. Anytime that I say "my front (alter)", I am really talking about me, David.

The main innate gift that was cultivated from my natural abilities by the Illuminati was my musical intellect. They gave me all the training, unbelievable breaks, and drugs I needed to develop my talent into world-class form. My main duty during rituals ended up as the organist. I had extensive training on both the piano and the organ, but the piano was more my specialty. This talent alone allowed me to enjoy some incredible experiences around the world. It just goes to show that a star is born through marketing; I was never marketed for fame, but I earned a distinguished name in some prestigious artistic circles. I also used an alias for performances: Anthony de Mare (but there is a double who has taken over full-time now).

My musical skills were developed in many different areas. I was able to improvise pieces after enough training, and I also memorized complex classical pieces. I remember seemingly breezing through the first lessons they gave me reading music; I don’t know whether I was aided by some special drug or technique. The way I would memorize classical selections was in incremental sections. I would be given a small section to perfect by the next lesson. If it wasn’t memorized and perfect, punishment (as in trauma) was immediately applied. I guess that’s one way to cultivate discipline in someone. Programming sessions with drugs also aided my development. Unfortunately, at this point, I do not remember the vast majority of what they taught me (it’s locked away inside Michael’s area), as my front has not recovered the memory yet, but I only remember what happened during performances. However, my “body” remembers, as my fingers know exactly where to go when I am learning something “new” on the piano.

One time, my mother was asked to have me perform at some wealthy lady’s birthday party at a fancy restaurant. Unfortunately, we were late for the occasion, and the lady kind of yelled at Mom. She was very upset, so I made sure I got to that piano as fast as I could. As soon as I started playing, she cooled off and began listening. She, and others in the restaurant, even started giving me cheers after a while. I think this was one of the times where I was improvising mostly. After the performance, I was asked to come visit the kitchen staff in back. They all congratulated me, and I gave them some of my first autographs. They were sure I’d be famous one day.

As a member of the House of Orange, I would sometimes play in the Netherlands, and two places that I performed at was Philips Hall and the Royal Concertgebouw. To polish my technique before I tackled playing at these venues, I was sent for training at the Utrecht Music College. All of these opportunities were made possible by Queen Beatrix; we had a special relationship.

I had a love/ hate relationship with the Utrecht Music College. I was grateful to have the chance to work with top-notch instructors, but they could be hard taskmasters, and they sometimes put me through a grueling program. One time, when I was working on a delicate passage in a piece with a certain teacher, I just lost my cool and walked off yelling something. I even burst into tears on this occasion, which was embarrassing since there were other students watching our session. The teachers also gave me lessons on the organ, because they wanted me to play the Great Organ at the Royal Concertgebouw, but I think I couldn’t because I hadn’t worked hard enough to acquire the necessary expertise (Queen Beatrix was very disappointed by this fact). I also remember sitting in the corridor near the entrance, waiting for whoever it was to pick me up. A couple of students at the college who were much older than myself stopped suddenly in a state of pleasant surprise. They asked if I was so-and-so, the pianist. I said I was, and they were kind of excited. They gave me some compliments. I may have even given them an autograph.

I don’t remember much about the Royal Concertgebouw, other than that I was in a daze as I walked down the red carpet steps to the piano. The Queen came out and gave an opening presentation for me from the red carpet steps on the other side. I do remember her giving me, and someone else, a tour of the whole facility before I actually performed there.

Philips Hall had a different sort of feel to the performance as far as the style of playing was concerned. I may have even had a few other musicians backing me up. I remember being extremely nervous on this occasion; I was sweating and shaking profusely before I played. It may have had something to do with the fact that they were doing some sort of audio and/ or video production of the performance, and they were working very close to me, with all of their cables strewn everywhere. My Illuminati alter parents were there to watch me; I could see them from where I was. A little while after they took their seats, Queen Beatrix made her entrance in normal attire, and she sat down right next to them. My parents faces were beaming proudly, being acknowledged by her in public (especially my dad since this was one of the only times he saw her). I don’t remember if I did well in this performance or not.

Lincoln Center

This is the venue that I performed the first concert of my “professional” career as Anthony. So far, I only remember a few details. I talked with both my Dutch grandmother and my mom for about an hour in front of the building, near the row of flowers-- pounding into my head how important this performance was. Later, my mother and I searched the place high and low for the restroom for about twenty minutes. Finally, I played in the main hall. Still don’t remember anything about the performance.

Closeby is a restaurant called Milos. I also gave a performance here on that first occasion. After the gig, I met with some Illuminati adults who were fans, and we discussed future career options. I played here at least one other time as an adult.

Another place I performed at was the California Institute for the Arts in Valencia. I played for a small audience (30-50 people) in the main hall. I remember feeling kind of cocky and not really taking it too seriously. I was in some sort of trance for most of the performance. Afterward, I talked to many of the audience members, some of which were known Masons. As I left the building and walked out onto the terrace, I vaguely remember Mom (or my grandmother) badgering me about something I did wrong.

I also remember playing at Tanglewood in Massachusetts one time. It may have been during the festival in which the Boston Symphony plays annually. There was that size of a crowd watching me. I recall being somewhere else in the main building, either before or after the performance, with a lady who appeared to run the establishment. We talked privately, and she said I had the talent to be world-famous. During the same visit, I also played a rock (or jazz?) concert during the night-time with a few other musicians, to a smaller audience.

Another thing will I mention: I also performed in China. One place I remember giving a great show at was the Jinling Music Hall in Nanjing. A strange experience accompanies this performance, one that I had at the hotel in that city, which was closeby the music hall. On our last day there, my grandmother had left me (my front self) to play with my toys in a large rock terrace that had a covered picnic table nearby. A shopping center was adjacent to this area. There I was, just minding my own business, and this Chinese guy in a business suit comes out from the shopping center. He spotted me, and then he got really excited. He ran over to where I was and started talking a lot of Chinese to me, and motioned for me to come with him into the shopping center. I knew I shouldn’t have gone with him, but he was entirely friendly, so I fearfully accompanied him. He brought me into countless stores and introduced me to all of his friends. He had a huge smile and waved his arms wildly while he was telling each of them this story about me (which I couldn’t understand, of course). All of the employees smiled back at me, and seemed pleased to meet me. Finally, I had to end all of this craziness since I knew, by this time, my grandmother would be frantically looking for me. I politely insisted that I had to leave, which he let me do without a problem. Indeed my grandmother was worried about where I was, and she really let me have it (verbally). This all makes sense now, since I remembered that I did an American jazz jam session with a few other musicians from the orchestra the night before. The crowd ate it up; they really loved it.

A place that I really became familiar with while growing up was the Los Angeles Music Center, which includes: the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion, the Mark Taper Forum, and the Ahmanson Theater.

Following one performance I gave here, I was walking back to the car with my Illuminati alter parents, which was parked in the parking garage below the facility. We walked down the main flight of steps to the sidewalk, and my mom and I waited for my dad to bring the car around, which was to the right of where we were waiting. While we were just standing there, some members of the audience came down and saw us. Some were my age, and some were my parents’ age. The kids over there were flattering me with a bunch of compliments, and one girl even asked my mother, “Can he be my boyfriend?”. They said my alias during this conversation, I believe it was my alter name Michael (before I picked up my stage alias, Anthony).

The Ahmanson Theater was the first place that I actually performed for a large audience. It was my first recital, and the Illuminati rented the place out. They wanted to prepare me for these types of performances in as comfortable a manner as possible, so they invited everybody in the cult who even remotely knew me, and all of their friends. The place was packed, and I remember seeing quite a few familiar faces in the audience. My parents and grandparents, and someone else important, were sitting in one of the special boxes up above on the right of my view. Everyone was extremely supportive. I still don’t remember what I played or how well I did.

I remember giving at least a couple of performances at the Taper Forum. One of them involved me playing piano accompaniment for some type of “young artists” dance(?) performance. I remember arriving at the back of the building where the other artists were. They didn’t like me at all (and they let me know it sometimes); I think they could have been a little bit jealous of me, although I could be an arrogant little guy sometimes. One of the girls liked me there, though, and we got to know each other better. When we actually performed, I was playing the piano in back, and the rest of the kids and I were having a little covert battle.

Another time that I played at the forum was for some type of “young musicians” show. All I remember was playing the piano on the left, and being able to watch the cellist on the right(directly in my view). The one thing I remember about playing here was that I was extremely jealous of the guy playing the cello. There were a number of girls our age sitting in front of him while he was playing, and they were all head-over-heels for him. I was used to being the center of the girls’ attention. I was a bit malicious, as I used some of my “psi” powers, that I developed in the cult, against him. It worked; he messed up every time I did it. I could be really mean sometimes.

I remember playing at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion at least one time; most likely there were more times. Before the performance, I was running around the top terrace, which overlooked the main hall, nervously, with my head cut off. I decided to make a trip to the practice room on that level. Before I walked in, some people loitering around on the terrace spotted me behind the rope. They called my stage name, and I looked over and waved to them, then I ran inside to the practice room. My girlfriend at the time, and someone else, were waiting in there. First, I frantically ran through all of the most difficult passages of the pieces I was playing on the piano, and then I took a break and made out with my girlfriend (after asking the other guy to leave, of course). I think this was during my later years of high school, and she seemed a bit younger than me. At this point, I don’t know who she was. During the performance that night, I felt like I transcended a normal showman; I felt almost like a god, as if some force was possessing me with supernatural ability (I now believe that it was definitely demonic). This same force depressed me a great deal, and its negative emotional roots could be seen surfacing as early as my late childhood.

Recently, when I visited the Music Center again through my front, I was waiting at a light to turn right (the Center was to the right of me), and a couple was crossing the street to enter the Music Center area. The man immediately recognized me, and told his wife(?). Both of their faces seemed really happy to see me, but I was too chicken that day to roll down my window and speak with them. I just knowingly smiled back at them, in a shy sort of way.

Another strange little incident happened to my front alter when I went the Brian Wilson concert in 2002, at the Roxy in Hollywood. I was waiting in line, and it was slow-moving. When I reached the front area of the venue, there was a big truck at the curb with all of the roadies standing in front of it. I looked over at it, and I caught the eye of two of them. They just stopped and stared at me in a state of awe and said, “Oh, wow”. I just kind of smiled and nodded at them, not knowing what to make of it. Surely they’ve seen a million Hollywood types like me in this town, I thought. They kept staring at me until I got inside.

I also played over at the Richard Carpenter Performing Arts Center at Cal State Long Beach at least a few times. The only performance I remember at this point was my first one when I was a boy, and I got a major bout of stage fright before the concert. My parents were trying to talk me through it, but I was pretty freaked out. I know I performed there later in college, as I ran across some fans on campus while I was on a date with Ann, who was enrolled there, as well as at other times while I was walking around the school.

This particular alter section, Anthony, started to go offline completely early in 2002. I had just gotten my cell phone, and no more than two weeks later, I had this guy leaving messages in my box for Anthony to call him back. I’m thinking, What the heck? Finally, he left a long message saying that he had a couple of “gigs” for him (my front really hates that word, so it stuck in my mind), and that he needed his “expertise”. I just deleted it. Then a day later he starts calling me right after I got off work. He said, “Hey Anthony!”, and I told him that he had the wrong number. He apologized and hung up, but then he called back a minute later. I answered (he heard my voice answering again) and he said “Anthony!” more enthusiastically. I was a little perturbed and reiterated that my name was not Anthony. He sounded a bit shocked and disappointed, but he respectfully did not call me again.

I found out more recently that Michael stopped playing due to stage fright. In February or March of 2002, he played at the Verizon Amphitheater in the Kimmel Center, which is on the Avenue of the Arts. (Speaking as Michael again:) I arrived there with my sister's cult alter on the day of the performance, and we immediately went into the gift shop. In my typical style of self-promotion, I searched the display for my albums. Then I made a big stink to the cashier as to not having my latest album there. Later, I hung out in the courtyard area, with the security guard eyeing me suspiciously. Everyone was on edge more, as this was a short time after 9/11. A little bit later, I met with a C.I.A. agent to discuss some things regarding my career. I just remember having a lack of confidence while shooting the breeze with him at lunch. Shortly thereafter, I performed, with a small back-up band, a few pieces from an upcoming(?) CD. I didn't do well, mainly because I hadn't been practicing a lot lately. After the set, a young couple asked who I was. When I told them that I was playing in the Verizon theater a little later, they seemed a bit surprised that I was a concert professional. That REALLY shook me up. So when I got to the stage, I was nervous beyond belief. As I sat down at the bench and took a look at the crowd to get a feel for it, all I could see were stern faces- and bad vibes coming from them. Then I tried to play the first piece. I messed up royally. This was too much; I had never screwed up like this at a major performance. I fainted, falling backward on the piano bench and hitting the ground with a thud. When I came to, a lot of people were out of their seats, talking in the aisles. When they began to see that I was waking up, they started cheering, "Anthony! Anthony! Yea, Anthony!" Unfortunately, this was not enough to restore my confidence. I was too humiliated and insisted to leave the stage. That was my last concert.

Ghostwriting Career

I don’t remember many details at all of this area yet, just the major ones. I will add more later as I get more memory. It is also important to note that the level of output here was probably only possible because it was accomplished over multiple timelines.

Michael, the black alter, was the most prolific. For one, he was the mastermind behind U2. At about age 3 or 4, he and his handler went to Moydrum Castle in Ireland. The musicians from the band agreed to meet here one evening at the Illuminati’s invitation. They were all seated next to one of the fireplaces, and Michael’s handler had brought a record to play on a portable record player. They were some demos of songs that Michael was working on. They seemed to really like what they heard, but Bono seemed a little skeptical or somewhat uninterested. Nevertheless, the Edge was very interested, and he seemed a little bit nurturing toward Mike as well. The band was given the understanding that Michael would be given total control over the band if they agreed to record and perform his songs. And that’s what happened.

They would often play pranks on Michael. Once, they even hung him from a tree for a while. He once cried outside one of the doors of a bar area at the castle because they wouldn’t let him in while they were drinking. On one of his visits to the castle, he was sleeping in an upper nook area, and the guys were making a ruckus. Mike couldn’t sleep, so he got really mad and stormed downstairs to where they were, However, when they saw him, they started cheering for him, and told him to join them. They were drinking, of course.

I also remember them later having trouble playing their parts for Joshua Tree. Michael had a grand vision for what he wanted.

Michael was also known as David Foster. So far, I only remember him filming a music video, where he was wearing prosthetics, and he was quite moody. He wanted to end the shoot.

He was also known as Alan Menken. I remember him with his wife, and he was really proud to take his first newborn daughter out to an amusement park when he was wearing prosthetics. My Illuminati mom had bought him a mansion in OC about this time, and a piano was put in the pirate ship by the pool. The Little Mermaid was composed in there.

One of the alters also composed for Huey Lewis and the News, and I think it might have been Michael.

A couple of other notable contributions by Michael are composing “Billie Jean” and “Beat It” for MJ, and the song “Jump”.

The green alter, Duke, was known as the unofficial fourth member of Genesis. He joined the band at around the age of three, and he started making significant contributions around age 5. It was at this time that the band named their album after him. He was also responsible for composing for P. Collins.

Duke also formed the band Green Day and composed and produced for them. The band jokingly called him Dukey, and named their breakout album that with a different spelling.

Stephen, the white alter and Sodomite, composed a couple of songs for MJ, and is responsible for the work attributed to Glen Ballard.

The red alters, which are three, are responsible for the work of INXS.

The silver alter, Sam, composed for Tears for Fears. He is also known as A. Lloyd Webber, starting with the work in the 1980s. Now he is known as Max Martin.

The light blue alter composed for Madonna.

The pink alter composed for Wham and George Michael.

Most famously, Johnny, the purple alter of an internal world of Egypt, is Prince. He had a double who performed concerts, acted in the movie, and sometimes did minor interviews. Most of the time it was Johnny doing the interviews. Johnny was responsible for every facet of the music.

The other alters also ghostwrote music, but I am not very familiar with them yet. I, David, and the original David, are the yellow alters, and I will get to our work later. You can also see some of it in the Deeper Insights into the Illuminati article in the Illuminati section.